A shame, Ashamed.

I have meant many different people that have felt ashamed that they are not as skilled in one area or another. There are a lot of factors that play a role in people learning on thing or another.

Say you were learning how to read. If the class had four people in it the teacher could spend more time working on your reading abilities than a teacher that has to teach twenty students. If you have a stay at home parent that takes an interest in your studies versus a parent that is interested in your studies but works 40 hours a week. Your teachers and parents abilities themselves play a large role in how much they can help you to learn.

When I help other learn there has so far been a pattern in those that ask for my help. 1) they are not as good as they want to be. 2) they are embarrassed or ashamed that they are not as good as someone else. 3) They had a hard time in the beginning and someone made fun of them.

I have myself found the learning something that you do not already know is hard. Somethings are harder then others for different people. If you have a hard time reading you should not let someones hard time with being sociable affect your trying to learn to read.

Honestly, I do not judge someone based on what they can or cannot do. But I do judge people on the actions that they take to fix things in their lives.

I think that shame can be a great motivator to get people to work to change, but after the initial push to working towards goals, I find that shame only slows you down. If you tiptoe around your problems you are likely to never find a person that can help you solve them.

There are many people that struggled with the same thing that you struggled with. Some have been successful and come out on the other side, some are still in the struggle, some have failed and decided that they live fine without it, some have failed and think that they will never accomplish their goal, some may struggle with the same thing a different way and together you can achieve the goal together.

If you have been in a classroom setting you may have heard the phrase "If you have a question you should ask, because someone else may have the same question but be to afraid to ask it." I think it is an odd way to address the situation but I think that it is something that should be addressed.

It is not your fault that you did not learn something, but you are responsible if you want to learn and choose not to.

Happy New Year!!

-NK