I am not sure if it is a biological trait or if it is something that was picked up somewhere, but I do know that I am not the only person that falls in to this cycle. My best guess is that it is an outlier of the natural response to attraction.
Normally the first thing that causes this is a moment where I share eye contact with a women and I say something that makes her laugh, and the sound of her laugh makes me smile. For me that is a drug I am addicted to, the feeling of adrenaline and endorphins that runs through my body at that one moment.
This is the moment where Toxic Lust sinks in. My Id (the doer, taker and mover) whispers in the ear of my Superego (the thinker, rationalizer) and the superego awash with this wondrous mix of chemicals goes 'You my compulsive little friend are a genius!'
Something I have found since I hit legal drinking age, it is much easier to shake 'Toxic Lust' if the development was when I was intoxicated. My Superego goes 'Well of course he one, I was drunk.'
After a bit I am able to rationalize the feeling and I muster up the courage and I ask the female out. This has happened about twenty times, and I have been on ONE date. I learned loads about myself and dating in general on that one date, but if I was to find someone that I could not wash my toxic lust for, no matter how hard I tried, I would not have the proper basic skills to talk to her over a cup of coffee, or a dinner.
My resolution for this post was simple not to stop at any point and delete all the words.
Happy New Year!
-NK
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment