In the Sprit of Ever-Change

'Meeting every day with the rising sun
Looking up it's looking like
My losing streak is done'-Eels

Today, like everyday before and after it, is the best day to change yourself for the better. If you made a list, stick to it. If you have decided it is no use fighting, because nothing changes anyway, stop listening to the Goo Goo Dolls.

Rough and Raw facts:

1) Most days are not a walk in the park.
2) Some days are so bad you want to lie down and die.
3) In rare cases, nothing will change for you when you fight your whole life. But your children, your family, the people you work with, the society as a whole... will be better for your wear.

On the days that you can not bring yourself to work to make yourself better for you, make yourself better for others. This is a powerful tool if you use it right, though you should work for the most part for you.

On faith I want you to go out and do one thing that you want to do regular but never seem to have the time. (Go to the library and get a book to read with your child, go for a reasonable jog, say no to your afternoon treat.) When you are done the activity look inside and embrace that warmth of achievement. Stop looking at the bad parts of things, if your hip hurts, it only means you should have taken it a little slower or ran on different terrain. If your child does not want to sit down and read with you, take some breaths and ask them why.

If you can not say no to your blissful treat, then I have a story for you. I was born and raised Catholic, but when I was young lent was not moderated for me, so I never really made it through. Last year I decided that practicing lent was something that I wanted to do for myself, I gave up my daily whoopee pies and tea of any sort. Everyone was dumbfounded by my choice of what to give up but it was truly what I used to handle my stress for me. Day after day clicked by, and I used the day prior as a reason to keep working with it. I made it the 40 days and nights. On Easter I sat down at the table, there in front of me sat a Steve's Snacks Whoopee Pie and an Arizona Black Tea with Ginseng and Honey. I bit into the whooppie pie, and it tasted too sweet, I drank the tea and it tasted like chewing leaves with some sugar on them, and no feeling rushed to take away my pains. The forty days of not having it made me find other ways of dealing with it, and I will be honest I did fall for the wondrous taste of Adirondack Raspberry Ginger Ale. But I fought the urge to use it as my crouch, to carry me through till I could have my old fix again.

Tricks of the trade of Ever-Change.

1) It is going to be tough, so be ready. If you have to take small steps, a change in the direction you want to be is a good change.
2) The saying "I am my own worst enemy" strictly applies in this sense. You are the only one that has the power to stand in your way, you make your choices.
3) Never pass up the chance to give and receive help for people fighting for the same things.
4) Make sure the changes are for you, always look at what is going on around you. If the change is not making you a better person. If your change is stressing something that you do not want to change, you may need to reform how you go about it, or try to achieve a different but similar goal.
5) Take the Bad with the Good.

It is easy to find bad in good things, it is hard to find good in bad things, but it is there and will come in time. My story on the matter is this blog itself, years ago I gave up on myself. I found myself asking why them and not me. As the country faced the malicious attacks on our sense of liberty, I was fighting my own battles. In 2001 my three year old nephew died of cancer, my mother and eldest sister were treated for cancer, my father suffered his third heart attack and had open heart surgery, and my youngest older sister died of a blood clot that traveled from her leg to her lung. Mortality stuck down on me by surprise, and everyone around me was trying to keep their heads above the tides. The only thing left to do was to stop trying, it was easy and seemingly painless. Just last April I witnessed my father cry about every event that happened in his life and events that had not happened yet. I watched the man relive the pain of losing someone, and this was not the person I wanted to be in fifty years.

If all those events had never happened, I would not be me, I would not have helped the people I have and I would not be at a position to deal with life events to come. Nothing has become easier because I know what death is, but I know a little more about what my mind and body go through when that much change comes all at once.

Be it at three in the morning when you can not sleep because you worry about putting food on the table. Be it Nine in the morning and you crack a beer to make physical and mental pains wash away. Be it at the drive through window on your lunch break. Be it when you walk through the door and all you want to do is lie down and turn on the television. Be it after dinner. Be it as you brush your teeth. Be it anytime when you have all of three second to think of the world and how you fit in it. It is all the best moment to change, everything else is.

-NK